The child being a victim of bullying - Profile

The ‘Bully’ chooses the child to intimidate very specifically and not at all randomly.  Usually the ‘Bully’ will select a child which:

• Differs in some way from the others (from another country, has another religion, wears braces, generally is a child which differs from the average image of a pupil
• Will not be easily helped by others (lonely children who don’t make friends easily)
• Is ‘less’ strong .

However, the child who is being bullied also often raises conflicting emotions. Many times feelings of anger arise towards the parents, educators and classmates because either they do not recognize his inability to react or they believe that this child is responsible for the bullying experienced.     
Generally, many of the personality traits of the child being bullied, makes them easier to target.
At this point it should be mentioned that the children victims of bullying exhibit:

• Low self-esteem,
• Inability to solve problems,
• Signs of depression,
• Emotional problems,
• Feeling of loneliness,
• Low academic achievements and absenteeism 
• Behavioural disorders
• Psychological/ psychosomatic problems (headaches, abdominal pains, bed-wetting, sleeping disorders)  
• Stress
• Phobias 
• Inability to stay alone
• Avoid eye contact

One must take into consideration the emotional world of the children, which in the case of school bullying does not differ from any other form of violence. The children experience:

• Anger

Anger for what is happening to them, which they are unable to react to. Anger is usually expressed at their loved ones such as the father, mother or sibling.  

• Shame

They are ashamed about what is happening to them and they feel that their classmates consider them cowards. Thus it is hard for them to make friends as they consider a priori that no one will want to be friends with them. They are also ashamed to reveal this to their parents as they will ‘disappoint’ them.

• Guilt

They feel that they are to blame for what is happening
 (eg. ‘they call me goggles’-} I wear glasses -} so they are right -} I am goggles).

• Fear

They live with the constant feeling that they will be teased, that they will be laughed at

The combination of anger – fear – shame and guilt lead the children to not tell anybody what they are experiencing and consequently they don’t ask for help.
This emotional isolation leads to the general isolation of the children.
If they don’t receive the appropriate support in the future it is possible that they will be incapable:

• To take responsibility,
• To be consistent in their social role,
• To enter into interpersonal relationships,
• To have a normal sex lif