Material for discussion in class

This story is not a real one… or maybe it is? Do not think who the child is.... but focus on the fact that this could help your own child.

A lot of children who experience such situations in school believe that:

It is their fault everything that is going on.
The difficulties will end.... by magic in their own way.

The worst thing perhaps is the loneliness they feel!!

Discover in Hercules the elements that make him a hero, our hero. Listen to him and experience together with him his difficult moments. Do that not to pity him.... but to learn from him

-Happy birthday to you!! Happy birthday dear Hercules.
-Happy birthday my dear boy, says Hercules mother and gives him a kiss
-Happy birthday my dear boy, his father adds

Hercules is already 12 years old.... he is a grown man by now, as his father says and everything in his life will change. He will say goodbye to his old school, some of his colleagues, because simply.... a new life in gymnasium is waiting for him. A new attracting path as a schoolboy.... another stepping stone. Hercules was anxious to go to gymnasium, yes you guessed he had a difficult time in primary school. It was not bad.... but it was not pleasant also.

And this is the truth. Hercules is a serious pupil mostly loved by his teacher, but still an introverted child. As his colleague George would characterize him not at all talkative. Hercules always felt that he is different from the other children. He is very thin and he thinks that his ears are huge on his head. He also thinks that someone putted them there when he was little. It is to that extend that he feels they don’t belong to him.

On the other hand he doesn’t like football and he never played with other boys during school breaks (when they usually played football). He did not play with girls because simply he is a boy and the boys do not play with girls. His worst part was the school trips.. he always felt awkward because nobody wanted to sit beside him in the bus and he felt very lonely.

Now everything will change. In the new school there won’t be anybody from his old colleagues.. this is a new opportunity … a new beginning. Finally he will have a new friend .. a real friend, and they will be like brothers. They will play and go together to school, he will respect him.

Help me God succeed to accomplish this. May everything be as I wish. I am a good child.. Why can I have my own “best” friend?

This sentence is always on Hercules mind.. like a small prayer!!! And he wants to pray. He doesn’t want anybody to know how alone he was or how strange he felt in primary school. All these years he didn’t say anything to anybody. He didn’t want to upset or disappoint his parents. Could you believe.. that no children wanted him as a friend.. No, no, nobody has to find out about it. Finally his prayers will come true.

-Wake up Hercules, it’s seven o’clock.... his mother called him,
-Is my gymnasium boy ready? laughed his father
-Ready....
-Let’s go son.... I will take you to school by car.... said his father

-Oh no not the first day in school to be accompanied by my father. It will be a bad start. Everybody will make fun of me.... he thought
-No father all the children will be alone and I will go with my father.... No no.... I will go by foot.... answered Hercules with a lot of anger as if his father proposed something bad.

His father agreed and he left to school by himself....

The first day was very good. Hercules met some of the children, they didn’t become friends but they get acquainted.... Of course he is embarrassed to talk but fortunately for him the others are doing the talking.

They enter the class and the “torment” of the school bus.... there it is again.... with whom he will sit. Nobody would want to sit beside him.... A boy invites him to sit next to him. Hercules smiles, goes closer and sits beside him.

-Hello, my name is John
-I am Hercules
-Nice meeting you
-Me too
-You don’t know anybody here?

And they start talking, and although Hercules desires so much a friend for some strange reason he doesn’t talk at all. So little as if he didn’t want John to become his friend.... so strange, he was so hurt by his colleagues in primary school that he behaves as he didn’t want friends although he wanted. He thinks he is protecting himself in this way....

Fortunately John continued talking to know him better.... He seemed a good and respectful child and he talked a lot without being boring and showing his sympathy for Hercules. Christos and Gregory, John’ best friends from primary school are staying in the desk in front of them.

Christos seems to be a very good child but serious and not so talkative. Gregory on the other hand is very communicative, beloved and “tough guy” exactly what Hercules wants to become. Still Gregory doesn’t seem to like Hercules very much.... Time will show, could be that he got this wrong....

The days pass by and the four boys are spending time together at school.... and who would have thought they would even meet and go together to school.

In the afternoon John and Christos go to Gregory’s house and play computer games. They never invited Hercules.... He is anxious to be invited by them and every time he mentions the computer games and the new games he is buying hoping they would invite him.... but nothing happens.

One day Hercules is late to school because he didn’t wake up in time. He runs to school and thinks about what the teacher of literature of his first class will tell him.

He enters the school and the class.

-I apologize for being late, he says
-Never mind Hercules, the teacher answers
-Why don’t you use your ears to fly, Gregory comments and all the children start laughing
-Quiet.... the teacher says without adding anything else

Hercules sits at his desk. He doesn’t say anything and his hands are shaking. He thinks that everybody will make fun of him.... why? Why? what did I do to him?
He says nothing during break and nobody comments the event.

During next break Gregory comes to him, he talks about a lot and different things and for the first time he is acting very friendly. He invites him over to his house. But regarding the morning event from school none of them said anything.
Maybe he regretted, Hercules thinks.

He is a good child … and the truth is that my ears are big!
Hercules returns home very nervous.... his mother thinks that something must have happened but he tells her that in the afternoon he will go to Gregory’s house, so she doesn’t ask him anything else.

Hercules goes to Gregory’s house but quite scared. He never stops fearing and if he says again something about my ears. And while they are playing he is tormented. No comments were made. And Hercules thinks they are friends now and that Gregory will not make fun of him anymore.

Hercules returns home and locks himself in the bathroom for some time looking at his face in the mirror.
I do have big ears what can I do? They have a good reason to make fun of me. I must do something. I will sleep on one side he thinks if I press them my ears will go smaller and he goes to sleep hoping that his ears will be smaller in the morning. But nothing happens.
 
In the morning he meets the boys and they go to school, but the mood is different, something is not like the other days. Gregory, John and Christos smile and whisper to Hercules....

-Why are you whispering? He asks smiling
-To see if you can hear us with your big ears, Gregory shouts and they started laughing.

Hercules closes his eyes, swallows with difficulty and.... he wants now everything to end. He doesn’t know what to do.... He simply laughs with them, he wants to be their friends.

During break John tells him:
-Were you offended?
-Oh no, not a big deal, Hercules answers....

The following days are a real torment for our hero.... all the children are making fun of him and call him “big – ears”. He avoids them all and he slowly hides himself away. He is afraid that they will make fun of him all the time, he is ashamed about what is going on and he is so angry he would hit all of them!! But he doesn’t do it .. the jokes continue and his anger gets bigger and bigger.... One of the next days he goes home and hits all the furniture so hard that he destroys his desk. His mother doesn’t talk to him and she calls his father, who comes home and they have a man to man conversation.

-What happened kid? What is the matter with you?
-Leave me alone, nothing is going on
-Come on.... and slowly his father makes him feel confidence and he tells him everything....

-Did you talk to your teachers about this?
-And what can they do? They can’t do anything!!
-You tell them and they will do their job
-Yes of course, Hercules thought.... as if making fun is not enough I will give them the chance to call me a snitch also

His father understands how much Hercules fears Gregory and....

-I still don’t get it, says his father very angry who does this Gregory thinks he is to make fun of you. You have to make fun of him also, pay him back for what he is doing.

-This is not possible father, Hercules says but not even he knows why it is not possible… the only thing he knows is that he is afraid of him....

-You must do it, he certainly has some imperfection, you should make fun of him also tell it to his face,
(some imperfection... even my father also sees my ears as an imperfection)

But without joking Gregory’s face is full of pimples…. No, I will not do it but he deserves it… I don’t know I am very confused.

The days pass by.... some days nobody is making fun of Hercules some other days he listens to all kind of comments.... Anyway this is his daily life.... he will wait to finish gymnasium – the way he waited for the primary school to end – and he will go to High school. There everything will be different....

Until one very windy day during sports class Gregory says:
-Hercules watch out the wind might take you away and fly away with the help of your ears and they start laughing

Why do you care pimply face? Hercules said but nobody laughed. Gregory looked at him very angry got closer and punched him, what a fist....

Hercules opens his eyes and sees some colleagues laughing some other smiling and other just looking.... nobody does anything and nobody comes to him.... Others put their hand over their mouths and whisper to their colleague – could be about Hercules could be about Gregory, who knows?

Gregory goes to John and to Christos and they leave.... Nobody can understand the loneliness he feels.... they leave him behind. And Gregory confirmed once more he is the tough one and nobody says anything.

Hercules leaves the school crying.... but he doesn’t go home. He is ashamed. Now his father will be totally disappointed I could not do anything to Gregory.... He sits on a bench and the only thing he is thinking about is how alone and ashamed he is.

And then suddenly in the corner of the street a car passes by.... it is written on it “THE SMILE OF THE CHILD” – SOS line 1056. Hercules has heard a lot of times about this. He knows it is an organization which helps the children no matter what problem they have. At some point they came to the primary school and made a presentation about the organization and the SOS LINE 1056. Yes I remember.... What that man said? Free and anonymously for any kind of issue that bothers you.... I will give them a call, I don’t have any other better option....

Hercules goes to a phone booth and dials 1056 listens to children songs and then a lady says
-“The Smile of the Child”, hello!
-E.... hello, Hercules says
-Hi, the lady answers friendly and Hercules starts feeling at ease. And then he tells the lady what happened....
-What has happened to you it is very difficult and it has happened to other children also. You are not the only one and for sure you are not alone in this.

-It has happened to other children also?
-Yes.... unfortunately this happens in many schools. But I want you to understand something: It is not your fault!! No matter what you have said or done, nobody has the right to treat you this way. And you know something.... you should search for a real friend because for sure this boy is not a friend and it would be very difficult for you to become friends.

Do not forget about what has happened simply try to avoid Gregory these days until we find a solution. Would you like us to meet?

-Yes I would like that very much

-Good you go home because probably your parents are worried. You don’t need to be ashamed. You did your best but some things we cannot handle by ourselves and by no means we never hide them from our parents. I am thinking that if you have talked to them during primary school maybe you would have found a solution by now, who knows?

-Yes, could be, but.... my father will think of me as a coward

-Your father is very proud of you. I am sure of that. And if you tell him the truth he will feel very good.... probably that day you talked to him he was sad and you thought he was mad.... he was not mad, but sad. Go home now and tell you parents what has happened.... you made the first step.... we are together in this. You, your parents and your teachers....

-No no.... I cannot tell anything to my teachers.... they will call me a snitch.

-For sure nailing someone is not the best to do.... but whom did you nail?

-But Gregory of course

-But who told you that by going to talk to your teachers about Gregory you will nail him.... on the opposite you will go to protect yourself. And you will ask from your teacher not to say anything about your conversation. He will find a solution to help you in a discrete way.

-Discrete.... is that so simple???

The days pass by and nothing is easy.... Some days things get harder and harder and this makes it more difficult for Hercules. But the truth is that he still tries and tries a lot. He is testing new types of behavior and sometimes he fails but other times he succeeds. He is patient this time and.... he is not alone in this.... his parents, his teachers, the new friends he met, “The smile of the child” they are with him.... and he finds it out bit by bit there solutions for every problem.

But sometimes we need guidance to see them!